I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
