Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
