And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize