i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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