so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
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You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
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Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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