I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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