return my video game
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
