The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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