What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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