The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
