Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
