you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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