So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
