do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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