His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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