i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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