and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
