so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
