I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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