what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
