Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
