walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize