well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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