I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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