Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
