I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It's never too late to be topless.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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