3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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