idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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