margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Say something about gay babies.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
