I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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