My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
