STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
