he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
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