1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
