1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
