I wanna bring you to show and tell
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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