Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
