I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
a search helicopter?!
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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