He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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