WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
