Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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