I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
