It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
