He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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