i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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