I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
