Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
