how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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