Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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