it hurts more in the daytime
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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