PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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