I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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