You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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