How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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