And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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