Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
we're making bets on your personal life
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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