is your mom at the bar?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have feelings that need drinking.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
