I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
