You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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