I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
