Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Randomize
