Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
