we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
