i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
