Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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