Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
