Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
