? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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