it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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