I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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