That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
