Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
