i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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